There was evidence that some one had invaded the kitchen, in the wee hours of the night.Alan told me this before he left for the day. The signs were, all the lights in the kitchen were on, but he could not figure out what she might have been up too. The possibilities of what I might discover, have become my new "normal". I would later uncover, a bundle of bananas beneath the blanket of her bed. Need I mention, she loves bananas. :-)
The ways growth has called our name in this season, has surprised me.
The price of progress being both bitter and sweet (like bananas).
Independence is a good thing, but in the context of desire, its tricky. Sometimes the answer to our dilemmas, come in simple solutions. So, did I figure a way to lock my refrigerator or pantry? Nope. I just needed to hide the banana's better!
We will celebrate 29 years of this kind of love, hugs and sticky, tricky growth, today. Like the uncovering of that bundle, has been the discovery of fruit, from my own heart. No, I do not always "pass the test" when the covers of my heart are lifted wide open, and I see the mishmash. It's like God has turned on all the lights, and the discovery of what I see is both difficult and progress. Bitter and Sweet. Sometimes that is how true progress comes to us, from the untimely, untidy, hidden, hard places.
Recently, one of Anna's admirers said, "If only she could talk!" And those words brought to mind, how much she and I communicate already, without words. Words like,
"I want, and I will get."
Words that say, as she pulls me away, "Its time to go." even though it is not. She looks into my eyes, and knows, my "NO's!" She needs to be okay, with my "NO's", just like I need to be okay with HIS "No's" to me.
So maybe the progress that we both need to grow in this coming year is to learn the difference in what we want, verse what we need. Desire is not bad, but has a proper place and time. The "NO's" that come may only be, "NOT NOW, and not here.
The greatest gift, this Momma can give to this Wonder(ing) child, is to not despise these times of discovery, and see them for the sticky tricky progress they are. And until desire finds its proper place, learn to accept the "NO's", because my Heavenly Father KNOWS ALL we need.
My heart is filled with gratitude, for another year to be called, her MOM.
A special "toast" with banana's of course, taken a while back, on one of her birthday celebrations.
God never withholds from His child that which
His love and wisdom call good. God's refusals
are always merciful -- "severe mercies" at
times but mercies all the same. God never
denies us our hearts desire except to give us