I look up at the checker and say,
"Really, she is the perfect child,
this only happens here
(near all the candy).
Oh why, did I start bribing her with M&M's!
NOT THIS TIME, handing him the package of rubber gloves to scan, and quickly giving them to her. Then looking back up at him again saying, "And if you believe that, you will believe anything."
He laughed then, and we both knew my plight.
It wasn't working, and she does more than make sounds, she reaches out for my arm, while I roll her forward (put the brakes on the chair), knowing it shouldn't be long now. And this insightful young man (my checker) reaches over the counter with a bag of, just scanned raisins, and gives them to her....Quietness....again.
And as I rolled her away, he called out..."Bye, Anna!" and she turned back and smiled, while I was trying to remember...Did I say her name out loud?"
And I left touched by the kindness, and wishing she would not have these "fits" at the end of a good shopping experience!
And these "fits" in public, reflect my private ones at times. They take on the nature of "NOW or never" because we deceive ourselves that what we "want" is what we "need".
I learn more about myself, in the "NO's", than in those things that come easy. And once again, Anna becomes my mirror. And we both have room to grow in this.
I do want to be His perfect child, because I've tasted that place of trust, that doesn't need to be catered to. A restful Trust that is not so easily triggered by what the world flashes at me.
And as the call of that young man, of my daughters name, warmed my heart....so does the call of my Heavenly Father to me saying, I'm enough.
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